It Kids You Not

Here's the response M. Snowe just received from Senior Vice President of Anonymous College. See this letter from a previous post to catch up on the word-spewing crassness.This letter is COMPLETELY UNDOCTORED (Including the original spellings). All that has been changed are names, to protect the otherwise unprotectable.


February 25, 2008

Dear M. Snowe,

Thank you for your thoughtful reply. I may have phrased the question too narrowly but it has generated many thoughtful replies like yours that I am grateful for. I must admit that I am surprised by the fact that because the College asks for money some grads have assumed we are not thankful for all you do as a "man or women for others." It is precisely because we believe in our graduates and all they do to make the world a better place that we ask for money. A College today to remain competitive must beg but so did St. Ignatius so it can't be all that bad. From young graduate like yourself we ask for a monetary gift to help our participation rate. As commercial as that sounds a high participation rate indicates our graduates are satisfied with the College and that indicator helps us to attract other students like you. In addition we use the money we get to help fund the $30M of financial aid we give each year.

Thank you for the reply and God bless,

Senior Vice President of Anonymous College

Commentary: There are at the very least three typos in this. Also, doing a quick scan of a few St. Ignatius website biographies, there is no mention of gathering donations, though there is no argument here that he must have solicited some funds. And "begging" for alms is a much different situation in this case--Ignatius's monies went directly to the Church and the Jesuits. This money goes to sports centers and alumni banquets. And as for alumni giving being a true measure of satisfaction: One might love pineapples to death, and truly enjoy the experience of eating one, but does that mean they have to go out and invest in Dole stock?
Also, a little simple math for you:
Tuition per year (with room and board): over $47,000
Four Year Total Tuition: $190,408
Total college aid available: $30,000,000
Total Enrollment: 2,817
Total Students who have financial need: 58%
Total amount of students whose tuition could be covered in full by the $30 million: 157
58% of 2,817 students (amount who need financial aid): 1,634